I CAN'T MOVE ON!!!

Now that he's already moved on, I'm finding it hard to let go. Memories of him come flashing at me every second of ever day. All I have are the memories we had together. And I'm afraid that he forgot all about them because he's already moved on.

You know the feeling when you're all alone in the night and you keep forcing yourself to sleep because you just can't stop thinking about the times you had together and knowing that it won't ever happen again? It's really disappointing because even if I toss and turn myself around, I just can't get enough sleep. What's more is, that, you keep on thinking what might possibly be happening to him the very minute you're thinking about him. It just... arrrrggghh.. it just ain't fair. How can he just move on like that?

Haha.. As if he's to be blamed... I know I am... It's my fault after all... But still, if what we had, if he thought I'm his true love, he won't let me go just like that!!!!

But there's nothing I can do! And this is what irritates me the most. I know he won't come back for me. But what the fuck am I still hoping for. It's as if I'm looking forward for a miracle. And in my case, this kind of miracle won't... will NEVER happen.

Still... For him to waste his emotions on that girl.. Here goes my insecurity! It's just that he found someone who's a little too like me. Except for the fact that the girl is more attractive and smarter than me. But I kinda see myself in her. Maybe because she's the one locked in his arms. And the thought just make me so envious.

And I'm pouring out all my emotions in this stupid blog hoping that someone might possibly read this. And then what? What should I expect? Marc coming back to me? Dreams don't really happen. There's no happy ending for me. Maybe for him. But not me.

To Marc: (I'll just pretend that you'll be able to read this.)

I know I've been a bitch and I am utmost sorry. I realize now what I should've known lifetimes ago. You're the one that I've been in love to and I don't want to be out of your life. I still love you and I hope that we could get back together. Please come back. I'll wait for you. Please give me a chance to prove to you that I've grown up and that I can be worth it again.