To YOU

It has come to this.

I finally realize what my weaknesses are -- these are men and money.

The latter is easier to manage as long as I use my brain. But the former. I still have to figure out.

Nothing's going right nowadays. I know I shouldn't be falling in love all over again. I mean, with all the things that happened to me with men. They really can't be trusted. I mean, I'm not talking in general here. I have to say though, that most men are really really jerks. Or maybe I just haven't found the right one.

I don't even think that I'll find him. Seriously. They're either inconsistent, insensitive or just players who wanted to collect all the pretty ladies their hands lay on. Crap. They're all the same.

And I hate it so much that I keep on falling in love with the wrong men. And I, for one, hate myself for even considering the thought of dating them. I'm going out of my mind.

To you (Yes YOU!):

I'm in love with you. You know that. But I have to get over you sooner or later. I don't think you love me that much. I don't even know if I trust you that much. You have your vices and I can't compete with them. While I'm a loner, myself, you have lots of friends and you tend to be more inclined to them than to me. And I already told you that I have trust issues and that I get jealous a lot of times even when there's really nothing going on. And I hurt myself every single time my insecurities come to my mind.

You have no idea how much I'm in love with you. You have no idea how much hurt you inflict on me. Or maybe that's just me. Either way, I know I shouldn't love you. But I can't seem to stop myself.

As I said, I have to get over you. I just have to. The sooner the better. And I know better.